Use Management Speak please, I don’t understand you!
Yes, I got this email today…
Hi team,
In a few cases recently, the management team in XXXXX has had difficulty understanding the meaning of some of your written communications. After considering this for a few days, I think I now understand what is happening. So please consider the following suggestions:
When you are writing to another engineer, you may continue use “engineer speak”
- abbreviations
- acronyms
- mis-spellings
- incomplete sentences.When you are writing to anyone in management, you must always use “management speak”
- be sure to communicate the complete thought; write so that anyone could understand the subject, action, and status.
- avoid abbreviations, spell each word fully
- define all acronyms before using them
- spell each word correctly (always use the spell checker)
- use complete, properly-formed sentences.
-id

February 28th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Klingon FTW!
March 20th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Rule 3: Engineers will not communicate with Managers
July 17th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Haha same goes with my company.
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:47 am
They forgot the include a list of mandatory meaningless words, i.e.:
- Empower
- Actionable
- Park
- Incentivise
- Leverage
- Bring to the table
- Paradigm shift
- Value add
And my recent personal pet-peeve. When management types say “I have a few asks of you” …. YOU DO NOT HAVE ASK! EVER!!!