I could barely believe this section of a contract I was asked to sign with a straight face:

Contractor agrees to perform, during and after the term of this Agreement, all acts that Company deems necessary or desirable to permit and assist Company, at its expense, in obtaining, perfecting and enforcing the full benefits, enjoyment, rights and title throughout the world in the Company Innovations as provided to Company under this Agreement. If Company is unable for any reason to secure Contractor’s signature to any document required to file, prosecute, register or memorialize the assignment of any rights under any Company Innovations as provided under this Agreement, Contractor hereby irrevocably designates and appoints Company and Company’s duly authorized officers and agents as Contractor’s agents and attorneys-in-fact to act for and on Contractor’s behalf and instead of Contractor to take all lawfully permitted acts to further the filing, prosecution, registration, memorialization of assignment, issuance and enforcement of rights under such Company Innovations, all with the same legal force and effect as if executed by Contractor. The foregoing is deemed a power coupled with an interest and is irrevocable.

In case you can’t read legal-eze this is sorta the legal equivalent of being sodomized with a telephone pole. No, I’m not signing it - not without the KY.

-RSnake

I was seriously in the worst meeting a few months back. Not only was it poorly organized but then at the end the agreed upon next steps really just took the cake. This ridiculousness just never made sense. It was so bad I actually wrote them down to eventually put somewhere. I guess fthe.net is as good a place as any:

Next Steps

• Roll out beta
  
• Study what users want
  
• Develop roadmap
  
• Hire specialists
  
• Develop unified backend
  
• Build phenomenal products
  
• What are success criteria?
  
  • Return users
    
  • Visits
    
  • Become competitive

My personal favorite was “build phenomenal products.” Uhm. Okay. That’s like saying “Step 1) get some paper. Step 2) Use some magic. Step 3) Fly to Mars” What exactly are the phenomenal products exactly? I guess they are pretty awesome with all those specialists we’ve hired after we’ve built out roadmap. There’s no way I could have come up with those next steps! Good thing we have such smart people working for us.

-RSnake